time will heal ♥

Friday, October 3, 2008 ♥

♥Depressed + a big blow to my heart

2 matters...

At this time,I should be out with my friends after my sch,

however,I am here blogging.

I have alr fallen into a deep hole & seeing that

made me even unable to climb out of the pit.

1st matter

You had made it,you managed to hurt me.

Maybe when you read this post,

you will also feel hurt,

I can only say sorry..

but since you don't care if I will feel hurt or not,

I think even if you feel hurt,

the hurt that I received from you will

be 100 times more than the hurt I gave you.

Everytime when I feel disappinted,

what did I do?

I did nothing except by keeping quiet.

I didn't post about it as I didn't want anything to happen.

I rather I keep to myself & pretend that nth have happen.

But you,I know that you won't be able to keep inside your heart

& that's why you always say out.

Since you chose to say it out,

I have no choice but to say out my thoughts.

when that time your sisters went to taiwan,

I did think of going your hse to stay as

I scared that you will be lonely.

However,when I wanted to do that,

you said that your sisters came back alr.

You can say that I am giving an excuse but I really did

think of staying at your hse to acc you.

You can don't believe it,you can doubt it

as I think that it is worthless for me to think of these.

Maybe I should not even think of coming your hse to stay..

maybe I should just ignore it.

You said that you are disappointed..

you asked me not to assume..

however,you also don't know that you are also assuming.

It wasn't me that ask Qingyi out on sunday,

so pls do get the fact right.

If I am not free,how can I ask you out?

I felt disappointed that you didn't read my blog,

but as time passes,it's alright if you do not want to read.

I also do not want to force you.

When you didn't read,I felt disappointed,

however,I also didn't tell you that I was disappointed.

Maybe you are right,I didn't really try my very best to meet you.

Do you know why?

The reason is very simple.

When you have no one to acc,

you will come & ask me to acc you.

You even admitted that whenever you cannot find anyone to acc you,

you will ask me to acc you.

When I receive your msg saying that you need me to acc you

just because those that you asked previously were not free,

don't you think that I will feel disappointed?

However,even though I know it was because you

could find no one to acc you,then you find me,

I still tried my best to acc you if I can.

You said that I broke my promise.

Yes,I admitted that I couldn't meet you on every month of 18th.

However,did you wonder if there is any promise that you break?

Maybe you had alr forgotten,it's alright.

since you had also broke the promise,

why should you be disappointed with me?

Aren't we the same as both of us also broke the promise?

You said that I spent lots of time with my sec sch friends

instead of you.

Have you wondered why?

Maybe you didn't..

They didn't call me out just because they have no one for company..

GENUINE frienship is what I want.

Those things that I done for you in sec sch,

maybe you had alr forgotten.

That's all in the past,maybe you can forget abt those..

put all those blames on me..

Everything is my fault..

I am much more stronger than you, I guess.

I can only say sorry.

Some things that are not worth for,

but still I think that it is worth.

The best word to describe me is

stupid.

Maybe I don't know how to cherish you..
so I should let those that will cherish you
to cherish you..
I am not a worthy friend for you,
I am sorry,
I am the worst friend you ever had.
I am sorry,
that I brought sorrows to your life.

I am sorry,

that you dropped those tears.

I am sorry,

I didn't cater to your needs.

I am sorry,

I am not a worthy friend for you.

I will try to slowly go out of your life..

I can't possibly cater to my every friend's needs,

but I will try my best.

2nd matter

luckily tmr is weekend

& there is no sch..

as it give me a good reason to cry for today,tmr & sunday..

guess I will be crying everyday..

Today is the worst day of my life..

=(](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](](]

Today is a big surprise for me..
you cured my wounds..

& you turned them to happiness..

Thanks..
& I finally plucked up my courage

& I got to know the ans

after waiting for so long..

I will try to be strong..

even though I am crying while

chatting with him..

at least I am still happy
even though the outcome is like that..

I guess it's time for me to move on..

even though I know I will still be at the same place..

I wish him all the best.. .

When will I ever be happy again?

will blog about wed,thurs & fri when I feel better.

Janice was numbed at 9PM

Janice was being hurt at 10:59PM

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